Alternate McSweeny's Titles Part Ocho.

 

can someone explain to me why Ted cruz 

is more interested in keeping 

his wife and children happy 

than he is in winning over me, 

a guy who doesn't live in 

texas and will never vote 

republican

by SCOTT BOLOHAN

Luckily The Congressional Democrats Are Not A Brainy Bunch

 You know what would have been really smart?

When the House Democrats impeached Trump, they should have announced that they will only send the impeachment to the Senate if Trump remains in office beyond January 20th.

That way, they could turn his peaceful relinquishment of power into an act of cowardice.  It would have been a total PR win for them.  Sure, they'll try to spin his acquittal into a loss.  But a loss is a loss and they missed their chance.