Drive Like Your Kids Live Here

For the past few months we have been seeing these signs popping-up here and there. I have yet to meet anyone who likes them but clearly somebody does, since they are putting them up. What is it about the sign that I find objectionable?

Lack of Logic:

1. If my kids do live here, then I am by definition already driving like they live here.

2. If my kids do not live here, then why should I pretend that they do when I know that they do not? I normally base decision making on the actual state of reality (as I perceive it) not on some state I know not to exist.

Subtexts:

--I just purchased a house on a busy road and I have small children. Everybody better accommodate my choice by driving slowly for the next few years.

--I have no actual authority, but command all who drive this public road to drive below the speed limit. Would it be less officious-sounding to post a sign that says, "Please Drive Within The Speed limit"? Debatable, but it might earn you the title of "Captain Obvious" since everyone who drives, knows what speed limit means.

My alternate solution to the problem, if there actually is a problem:

First a confession: I generally drive on the fast side. But not always: When I see pedestrians or bicyclists, I give them lots of room and go slow. And even in cases where I was well below the speed limit, mostly in the other lane to give room, have still been commanded to slow down. So my conclusion is that there may not actually be a problem with fast drivers in a place where the sign is installed. But for the sake of argument, let us pretend there is an actual problem: What might help and not be irritating as Hell?

1. Ask the local traffic control authorities to intervene: Maybe the speed limit is 25 but nobody knows this since there are no speed limit signs nearby. If people speed grossly in spite of adequate signage, see if the police can setup a speed trap. A speeding ticket will work wonders.

2. How about putting up a sign that does not tell people what to do? I am like most people in that I do not like being told what to do, especially by people who have no legitimate authority over me. Here is a suggestion: "Children Playing"