Wednesday, May 08, 2024

Re-Write

 An actual post on a social media site:

Dean said that the Gaga ball pits were crowded at recess because the supervisor of student shutdown the soccer field due to the 6th grade boys deciding to play tackle soccer.  Dean says he does not go to the field because they are the most likely place for fights.  I was never a middle school boy, and I both enjoy Dean telling me about his life and as the same time do not.

It's hard, though not impossible, to read.  Let's see if a bit of punctuation helps. (I've added some editorial content to try and tie together facts which seem disconnected from each other.)

Dean said, "The Gaga ball pits were crowded at recess, because the Supervisor of Students shut down the soccer field".  The 6th grade boys had been playing 'tackle soccer' and I suppose that even though the Supervisor has the power to shut down the field, he utterly lacks the power to keep boys from playing too roughly.  Dean has already been avoiding the soccer field, since that's where fights happen.

I was never a boy and didn't attend a middle school, so I enjoy having Dean tell me about his experiences.  On the other hand, as his mom, these kind of stories put me ill at ease. 

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